well! its been nearly a month since i last posted a blog entry, so i am just posting another one, just be keep updating this dead blog
Me and adorable after the May 5th episode patched up, fought, patched up, fought and ptched up again. We havent fought for 3-4 days now. I dont know why we fight and i dontknow why we patch up. We must be addicted to each other.
anyways... one good news, the lok sabha elections have come up with a positive result and The congress just stormed back in to the parliament. I want to shoot the astrologer thos said Manmohan Singh has no chnace to be PM again. May be he has already shot himself, who knows... and who the fuck cares...
But the stock market has perked up and finally i am earning something from the markets.
Look at this --- Satyam - 17,000: Reliance - 15,000 and ICICI - 16,000
A cool 48,000 bucks.
I am just in shock. Anyways i hope this lasts and doesnt go back into loss. I just have to make sure i keep my cool and dont tell this to anyone. Dont want people putting anegative eye on me and me falling back in to losses. I am superstitious i know!
well, adorable had gone to phoenix in the afternoon, she said she will come to chat by 5.00 IST but hasnt yet appeared. I will let her have her fun. Why to force her na?
She is such a sweetie, that i wish good things for her. I just hope she doesnt go for a boy friend for sometime. Its beeter to cool your feelings rather than jump back into the romantic blackhole.
OK i am not being possesive, its just my opinion that she needs to relax her mind for a while.
Well... india and pakistan will face off today in a practice match just before the world T20 starting in 2 days. I am very worried about this indian team, i am very skeptical we would reach even the semis. I dont know why. But ....lets hope for the best.
ok guys.... seee ya.... next time....
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
05th May 09, 3.42 pm
Today I spent plenty of time at Imti and Arun’s dugout, I was away from the office from 9 to 3.40, which certainly must be a new world record. My need to communicate with adorable has reduced considerably. I still miss Red though and I wonder how she is.
Well somehow I drilled it into the mind of the swiss incharge to speed up his job, somehow I was able to put my point and plan out to him without any verbal diarrhea from my side. It felt good, but I would only know tomorrow wethr my plan has succeeded or not.
Me n Imti are planning to go out to some good beach Thursday night. SO I plan to stay at Imti’s place on Wednesday evening so that we could go to Batuta’s and shop for some interesting things like swim shorts and some fashionable 3/4th’s. Lets c, we all very well know the penchant for my very well thought out plans to come to bull’s shit.
The damn ac is blowing cold wind directly to my face, no wonder I have a bad cold.
Well somehow I drilled it into the mind of the swiss incharge to speed up his job, somehow I was able to put my point and plan out to him without any verbal diarrhea from my side. It felt good, but I would only know tomorrow wethr my plan has succeeded or not.
Me n Imti are planning to go out to some good beach Thursday night. SO I plan to stay at Imti’s place on Wednesday evening so that we could go to Batuta’s and shop for some interesting things like swim shorts and some fashionable 3/4th’s. Lets c, we all very well know the penchant for my very well thought out plans to come to bull’s shit.
The damn ac is blowing cold wind directly to my face, no wonder I have a bad cold.
05th May
Well! I predicted the toss correctly, but the results were exact opposites, Mumbai lost easily, Sachin flopped. And Kolkata lost the match in the last ball.
Well, my adorable hasn’t mailed/messaged me since the spat, neither hav I coz of social anxiety or ego… but more due to the anxiety. I feel sad about it, but as adorable said…. “all relationships have an expiry date”, I guess its time to move on.
I have no confidence in doing my job at all, I think the company would be better off kicking me out of this project. They could find someone more worthy of doing this job. I am totally wasting everyone’s time over here. Neither am I trying to learn anything, nor I am doing any work. I am just passing the days. I feel so guilty and humiliated… coz of the phobia of course. Wat am I ever gonna do in my life?
Shaadi se bhi dar laghta hai re, biwi kya sochegi, kaise choot ke dhakkan se shaadi kiya hai maine, I just wish I get a top class psychiatrist as a wife. But do dreams ever come true dost?
Anyways, I am waiting for Imti’s boss to stop his meeting so I can get his room key from him. I will have a look in Al Swiss’s painting shop n then I will go to the dug out. In the afternoon I will go to GPRS and check out the remaining structure and add it to my report.
Adorable is so young and so alive, I don’t think I can match her at any positive level. I feel really worthless. May be the spat was good for her so she could get rid of a good for nothing like me.
I only have this job coz of luck, other wise I wud easily be jobless at home in dreamy land.
**************************************************************************************************************
And I just cannot give up cigs, they don’t do anything for me, I wonder y I even smoke, but I am just tryin to justify a reason not to speak to adorable. I don’t want myself in her life, I am poison, and she is life. I am not going anywhere near her, may she have a great life.
I do feel like communicatin with her , then I think of the cigs and then I stop trying…. So basically it’s a circle…. I smoke so that I cant communicate with her, and I cant communicate with her coz I am smoking. I am really a confused idiot.
***************************************************************************************************************
I am wondering… shall I impose my self on the Swiss and make them speed up the job, or should I as usual just… let it be. I need these guys to pick up speed so that I can relax and my job out here lasts longer, but… I don’t know…. The phobia is preventing me from doing anything….
Will someone please change my brain software and delete the malicious virus called social phobia from my mind? I cannot live like this.
I am 29, I have survived till here, I should be happy that I am alive, but I aint.
Oh its very simple, almost all my Nitte classmates are doing much much better than me. My own younger brother is doing awesome in Australia and I am stuck in the gulf! My bro… God bless him has a great opportunity to go to the UK if his present employers just let him go.
I just want to put my foot on US, UK, Europe and Australian soil, just for the heck of it so I could say that I have been there done that…. That would soothe my nerves I am sure. At lease I hope it does.
So I have added another few wishes to my monstrously huge list. Set foot on US, UK, Aussie and European soil. Go on a visit visa, do something u didiot :D
After all this… Japan , China, Thailand… South America… my mouth is watering ya AMIGO!!!!
Yehahahaha, I feel better dreaming now…. Let the dreams continue……
Aaah Imti’s free… will take the dug out key’s and rush off…. See yaaa
Well, my adorable hasn’t mailed/messaged me since the spat, neither hav I coz of social anxiety or ego… but more due to the anxiety. I feel sad about it, but as adorable said…. “all relationships have an expiry date”, I guess its time to move on.
I have no confidence in doing my job at all, I think the company would be better off kicking me out of this project. They could find someone more worthy of doing this job. I am totally wasting everyone’s time over here. Neither am I trying to learn anything, nor I am doing any work. I am just passing the days. I feel so guilty and humiliated… coz of the phobia of course. Wat am I ever gonna do in my life?
Shaadi se bhi dar laghta hai re, biwi kya sochegi, kaise choot ke dhakkan se shaadi kiya hai maine, I just wish I get a top class psychiatrist as a wife. But do dreams ever come true dost?
Anyways, I am waiting for Imti’s boss to stop his meeting so I can get his room key from him. I will have a look in Al Swiss’s painting shop n then I will go to the dug out. In the afternoon I will go to GPRS and check out the remaining structure and add it to my report.
Adorable is so young and so alive, I don’t think I can match her at any positive level. I feel really worthless. May be the spat was good for her so she could get rid of a good for nothing like me.
I only have this job coz of luck, other wise I wud easily be jobless at home in dreamy land.
**************************************************************************************************************
And I just cannot give up cigs, they don’t do anything for me, I wonder y I even smoke, but I am just tryin to justify a reason not to speak to adorable. I don’t want myself in her life, I am poison, and she is life. I am not going anywhere near her, may she have a great life.
I do feel like communicatin with her , then I think of the cigs and then I stop trying…. So basically it’s a circle…. I smoke so that I cant communicate with her, and I cant communicate with her coz I am smoking. I am really a confused idiot.
***************************************************************************************************************
I am wondering… shall I impose my self on the Swiss and make them speed up the job, or should I as usual just… let it be. I need these guys to pick up speed so that I can relax and my job out here lasts longer, but… I don’t know…. The phobia is preventing me from doing anything….
Will someone please change my brain software and delete the malicious virus called social phobia from my mind? I cannot live like this.
I am 29, I have survived till here, I should be happy that I am alive, but I aint.
Oh its very simple, almost all my Nitte classmates are doing much much better than me. My own younger brother is doing awesome in Australia and I am stuck in the gulf! My bro… God bless him has a great opportunity to go to the UK if his present employers just let him go.
I just want to put my foot on US, UK, Europe and Australian soil, just for the heck of it so I could say that I have been there done that…. That would soothe my nerves I am sure. At lease I hope it does.
So I have added another few wishes to my monstrously huge list. Set foot on US, UK, Aussie and European soil. Go on a visit visa, do something u didiot :D
After all this… Japan , China, Thailand… South America… my mouth is watering ya AMIGO!!!!
Yehahahaha, I feel better dreaming now…. Let the dreams continue……
Aaah Imti’s free… will take the dug out key’s and rush off…. See yaaa
Its Mumbai Indians vs Bangalore Royals today – 03.05.2009
Mumbai are on 7 points from 6 games and I really want them to win today.
What I wish to happen? Here goes.
Mumbai wins the toss, elect to bat. Sachin and Sanath put up a destructive opening partnership of 100+ runs with both scoring fifties and Mumbai should score around 180.
Then Bangalore should be blown away by the trio of Malinga, Zaheer and harbhajan.
I know I know, this is all too convenient.
I have a gut feeling Sach n jay will both fire, but I also have a feeling that Kumble is going to do something. Wel will see of course.
But we first have Kolkata ( the bottom feeders) vs the Punjab Kings.
Even though Kolkata look the hot favorites to LOSE from any position they find themselves in the match, I just hopethey reverse their fortunes and come up as the winner. For, that will favor Mumbai very much. Another convenient match eh Roshan?
Lets see what happens today.
Predictions:
Match 2 :Mumbai win toss – bat and WIN easily : m.o.m -> Sachin Tendulkar.
Match 1: Kolkata win toss – bat – win a close close game.
What I wish to happen? Here goes.
Mumbai wins the toss, elect to bat. Sachin and Sanath put up a destructive opening partnership of 100+ runs with both scoring fifties and Mumbai should score around 180.
Then Bangalore should be blown away by the trio of Malinga, Zaheer and harbhajan.
I know I know, this is all too convenient.
I have a gut feeling Sach n jay will both fire, but I also have a feeling that Kumble is going to do something. Wel will see of course.
But we first have Kolkata ( the bottom feeders) vs the Punjab Kings.
Even though Kolkata look the hot favorites to LOSE from any position they find themselves in the match, I just hopethey reverse their fortunes and come up as the winner. For, that will favor Mumbai very much. Another convenient match eh Roshan?
Lets see what happens today.
Predictions:
Match 2 :Mumbai win toss – bat and WIN easily : m.o.m -> Sachin Tendulkar.
Match 1: Kolkata win toss – bat – win a close close game.
No topic – 03.05.2009
Weird thing happened yesterday. I was having a spat with one of my friends over smoking. I had basically given up smoking on the 27th of Feb. But to tell you the truth I used to smoke one every Thursday night, then it became one on Thursday and one on Friday…. Then it finally entered the one a night stage, then 2 -3 per day,
I was beginning to lose my fight over the cigarette; actually I had already lost and was going deeper and deeper in the black hole. But I really really wanted to quit. SO what do I do? I confessed this to my friend and promised to give up the next day after smoking on the present day.
Now my friend was angry/ disappointed on hearing this, the person suggested, no, ordered me to stop smoking there and then and not the next day. But since I know my own mind I tried to argue that I should smoke on that day and give up the next day and that would make me easier to leave cigarettes. Both of us argued, no one relented and the person, whom I really adore was not being too communicative, like silently saying that I wont talk to you unless you quit right now. In the silence I felt a different emotion; I got a feeling like I was being looked at with condescension, with disapproval, like ….. “you have betrayed my trust” kind of feeling.
I tried to ask for forgiveness for an hour but the person did not relent. Then I abruptly logged out and have not spoken to the person since.
That was yesterday.
I haven’t smoked today..
But I am avoiding this person. I don’t know why. I feel…… stupid and ridiculous. I don’t really understand why….. but I feel this great need to avoid this person, who has been my best friend for the last 3 months. I feel like I have lost my respect, lost my self esteem, what little I had left of anyways.
I think my social anxiety is on over drive.
I think I will just wait and watch till this feeling passes over. If it doesn’t I would really lose someone I adore. If it does and our spat is resolved, our friendship would continue.
But whenever I see a cigarette in my life I will think of her, because the cigarette brought out my social phobia in between our friendship.
I just hope I never ever smoke a cigarette in my life again.
I was beginning to lose my fight over the cigarette; actually I had already lost and was going deeper and deeper in the black hole. But I really really wanted to quit. SO what do I do? I confessed this to my friend and promised to give up the next day after smoking on the present day.
Now my friend was angry/ disappointed on hearing this, the person suggested, no, ordered me to stop smoking there and then and not the next day. But since I know my own mind I tried to argue that I should smoke on that day and give up the next day and that would make me easier to leave cigarettes. Both of us argued, no one relented and the person, whom I really adore was not being too communicative, like silently saying that I wont talk to you unless you quit right now. In the silence I felt a different emotion; I got a feeling like I was being looked at with condescension, with disapproval, like ….. “you have betrayed my trust” kind of feeling.
I tried to ask for forgiveness for an hour but the person did not relent. Then I abruptly logged out and have not spoken to the person since.
That was yesterday.
I haven’t smoked today..
But I am avoiding this person. I don’t know why. I feel…… stupid and ridiculous. I don’t really understand why….. but I feel this great need to avoid this person, who has been my best friend for the last 3 months. I feel like I have lost my respect, lost my self esteem, what little I had left of anyways.
I think my social anxiety is on over drive.
I think I will just wait and watch till this feeling passes over. If it doesn’t I would really lose someone I adore. If it does and our spat is resolved, our friendship would continue.
But whenever I see a cigarette in my life I will think of her, because the cigarette brought out my social phobia in between our friendship.
I just hope I never ever smoke a cigarette in my life again.
My Social Phobia
I am not a good writer and I wont fool myself that I can ever be one. I used to be so quick once upon a time in making stories. You wouldn’t call them stories, they were basically lightning fast pj’s, cracked one after the other. Well I have totally lost the touch, the form as you would say in cricket, I am out of form.
I have found out two weeks ago that I have a phobia, it’s a relatively lesser know phobia, or anxiety. A psychologist called it – Social Phobia.
He has given a perfect description of the phobia and it totally defines what I feel every minute, every day of my life.
Imagine this, there is a person you want to meet, and you get a fantastic chance to meet the person, the person wants to meet you, but your inner fears just overwhelm you into avoiding the meeting. I mean just imagine the frustration. You miss the experience, the romance, the wonderful feeling that you would have got on meeting the person, the potential friendship, the lovely moments which you would treasure all your life. You don’t experience any of them because of your phobia. You cannot go to parties, even if you go you hide in a corner of a room, preferably near the food stall, instead of being the center of attraction, which you wish to be. You know you can do it, its all so easy, but this fear inside you just cripples all your dreams.
Now a lay man may think that practice would make it go away, but my friends its not so, not at all so. I used to speak in public when I was in the 8th, 9th and 10th….. but the fear never ever went….. my knees shook always.
If I were to break down my fears it would all amount to this…. Fear of appearing stupid. Its basically insecurity. That’s all. I have an irrational notion that people are always looking and judging me, I know its not true, but I just cannot help getting that feeling…. I wonder if the words coming out of my mouth are understandable, is my voice weak, am I appearing funny, Its horrible. It an horrible phobia to have where your mind is bombarded with irrational thought every minute, every hour, every day of your life.
Well I was diagnosed with High blood pressure at the age of 21. This was when I got my first job and had to take doctor’s health certificate in order to join the company. I was shocked, my parents were shocked, and every one was shocked. I had to undergo a battery of test to find out the cause, but… nothing. The cause was a mystery, until now!!! I now know that my high BP is due to social phobia.
Now the basic question is how to fight this phobia. How to combat this fear? I haven’t found any way to do this so far, I just wish I can
(to be continued another time)
I have found out two weeks ago that I have a phobia, it’s a relatively lesser know phobia, or anxiety. A psychologist called it – Social Phobia.
He has given a perfect description of the phobia and it totally defines what I feel every minute, every day of my life.
Imagine this, there is a person you want to meet, and you get a fantastic chance to meet the person, the person wants to meet you, but your inner fears just overwhelm you into avoiding the meeting. I mean just imagine the frustration. You miss the experience, the romance, the wonderful feeling that you would have got on meeting the person, the potential friendship, the lovely moments which you would treasure all your life. You don’t experience any of them because of your phobia. You cannot go to parties, even if you go you hide in a corner of a room, preferably near the food stall, instead of being the center of attraction, which you wish to be. You know you can do it, its all so easy, but this fear inside you just cripples all your dreams.
Now a lay man may think that practice would make it go away, but my friends its not so, not at all so. I used to speak in public when I was in the 8th, 9th and 10th….. but the fear never ever went….. my knees shook always.
If I were to break down my fears it would all amount to this…. Fear of appearing stupid. Its basically insecurity. That’s all. I have an irrational notion that people are always looking and judging me, I know its not true, but I just cannot help getting that feeling…. I wonder if the words coming out of my mouth are understandable, is my voice weak, am I appearing funny, Its horrible. It an horrible phobia to have where your mind is bombarded with irrational thought every minute, every hour, every day of your life.
Well I was diagnosed with High blood pressure at the age of 21. This was when I got my first job and had to take doctor’s health certificate in order to join the company. I was shocked, my parents were shocked, and every one was shocked. I had to undergo a battery of test to find out the cause, but… nothing. The cause was a mystery, until now!!! I now know that my high BP is due to social phobia.
Now the basic question is how to fight this phobia. How to combat this fear? I haven’t found any way to do this so far, I just wish I can
(to be continued another time)
Why I love the IPL
IPL stands for the Indian Premier League cricket tournament. The yearly tournament featuring teams from eight cities namely
IPL wouldn’t have been started if it weren’t for the ICL, at least that’s what I think. Kapil Dev and his cronies came up of this idea to start a tournament similar to the English Premier league which is held in England every year which has a massive fan following all over the globe. But since this tournament wasn’t going to earn our “beloved” BCCI any money, the tournament was banned.
Then the “brilliant” Mr. Lalit Modi comes up with his idea of the IPL basically to counter the ICL. Unfortunatley for the ICL, the IPL has turned into a major blockbuster, atleast in
Any way I am not here to debate anything for nor against the IPL. I just want to analyze how I feel about the IPL.
Since I can remember, I have always been a sports fanatic, any sports for that matter. I always loved sports competitions, playing as well as watching. Sports are in my blood!
The best thing about the IPL is to watch the combinations within each team. Since each team has 4 foreign players, you get to watch a combination of Indians and the rest of the world within each team. Without the IPL you wouldn’t see Adam Glchrist and Herscelle Gibbs open the batting together, not Chris Gayle and Brendon Mccullum, and my dream opening pair… Sachin Tendulkar and Sanath jayasuriya. How about Zaheer Khan and Lasith Malinga opening the bowling together?
How about the incredible Shane Warne, an Australian, supporting and showing confidence in an unknown left arm 18 year old Indian bowler kamran Khan and making his the main strike bowler of his team. How about MS Dhne captaining Chennai team which includes the incredible Mathew Hayden and FLintoff.
The combinations and permutations of every team makes you watch with intense anticipation.
How about countrymen who stand shoulder to shoulder for their countries having to face each other? Irfan Pathan slamming his brother for a six, and Yusuf replying in kind with two boundaries off Irfan. Flintoff bowling to Kevin Peterson, Muralitharan bowling to Jayasuriya, Kumble bowling to Sachin. All awesomely anticipated encounters.
To top it all off the games just last for about 3 and a half hours. As good as watching along Hindi movie.
Fantastic isn’t it.?
Actually folks I was planning to put down something else here, some sad thoughts , but strangely mind mind just refused to be drawn towards the sadness in my life. My mind wants just to think about the IPL. Seriously since the IPL began I haven’t had the time to think of all my life’s problems. The only things my brain focuses on right now is how will Mumbai fare against Kolkata, or when will jayasuriya and Sachin both fire together. My mind doesn’t want to go into my sadnees, my black hole at all.
Nice isn’t it.. That’s why I love the IPL….. Sadness banished….. happiness revisited. SO folks , as long as the IPL is on, depression is gone…….. IPL RULEZZZZZZZZ
(((I know I know, another disconnected blog entry ----- its my brain u see…. :D ))))
Monday, April 27, 2009
WHy I love the IPL
IPL stands for the Indian Premier League cricket tournament. The yearly tournament featuring teams from eight cities namely Delhi, Calcutta, Rajasthan, Punjab, Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad and my personal favorite Mumbai.
IPL wouldn’t have been started if it weren’t for the ICL, at least that’s what I think. Kapil Dev and his cronies came up of this idea to start a tournament similar to the English Premier league which is held in England every year which has a massive fan following all over the globe. But since this tournament wasn’t going to earn our “beloved” BCCI any money, the tournament was banned.
Then the “brilliant” Mr. Lalit Modi comes up with his idea of the IPL basically to counter the ICL. Unfortunatley for the ICL, the IPL has turned into a major blockbuster, atleast in India. And now due to elections in India, the IPL season – 2 is being played in South Africa. Call it providence or fate or whatever, this present and ideal opportunity for the game to be marketed in that country.
Any way I am not here to debate anything for nor against the IPL. I just want to analyze how I feel about the IPL.
Since I can remember, I have always been a sports fanatic, any sports for that matter. I always loved sports competitions, playing as well as watching. Sports are in my blood!
The best thing about the IPL is to watch the combinations within each team. Since each team has 4 foreign players, you get to watch a combination of Indians and the rest of the world within each team. Without the IPL you wouldn’t see Adam Glchrist and Herscelle Gibbs open the batting together, not Chris Gayle and Brendon Mccullum, and my dream opening pair… Sachin Tendulkar and Sanath jayasuriya. How about Zaheer Khan and Lasith Malinga opening the bowling together?
How about the incredible Shane Warne, an Australian, supporting and showing confidence in an unknown left arm 18 year old Indian bowler kamran Khan and making his the main strike bowler of his team. How about MS Dhoni captaining Chennai team which includes the incredible Mathew Hayden and FLintoff.
The combinations and permutations of every team makes you watch with intense anticipation.
How about countrymen who stand shoulder to shoulder for their countries having to face each other? Irfan Pathan slamming his brother for a six, and Yusuf replying in kind with two boundaries off Irfan. Flintoff bowling to Kevin Peterson, Muralitharan bowling to Jayasuriya, Kumble bowling to Sachin. All awesomely anticipated encounters.
To top it all off the games just last for about 3 and a half hours. As good as watching a long Hindi movie.
Fantastic isn’t it.?
Actually folks I was planning to put down something else here, some sad thoughts , but strangely mind mind just refused to be drawn towards the sadness in my life. My mind wants just to think about the IPL. Seriously since the IPL began I haven’t had the time to think of all my life’s problems. The only things my brain focuses on right now is how will Mumbai fare against Kolkata, or when will jayasuriya and Sachin both fire together. My mind doesn’t want to go into my sadnees, my black hole at all.
Nice isn’t it.. That’s why I love the IPL….. Sadness banished….. happiness revisited. SO folks , as long as the IPL is on, depression is gone…….. IPL RULEZZZZZZZZ
(((I know I know, another disconnected blog entry ----- its my brain u see…. :D ))))
IPL wouldn’t have been started if it weren’t for the ICL, at least that’s what I think. Kapil Dev and his cronies came up of this idea to start a tournament similar to the English Premier league which is held in England every year which has a massive fan following all over the globe. But since this tournament wasn’t going to earn our “beloved” BCCI any money, the tournament was banned.
Then the “brilliant” Mr. Lalit Modi comes up with his idea of the IPL basically to counter the ICL. Unfortunatley for the ICL, the IPL has turned into a major blockbuster, atleast in India. And now due to elections in India, the IPL season – 2 is being played in South Africa. Call it providence or fate or whatever, this present and ideal opportunity for the game to be marketed in that country.
Any way I am not here to debate anything for nor against the IPL. I just want to analyze how I feel about the IPL.
Since I can remember, I have always been a sports fanatic, any sports for that matter. I always loved sports competitions, playing as well as watching. Sports are in my blood!
The best thing about the IPL is to watch the combinations within each team. Since each team has 4 foreign players, you get to watch a combination of Indians and the rest of the world within each team. Without the IPL you wouldn’t see Adam Glchrist and Herscelle Gibbs open the batting together, not Chris Gayle and Brendon Mccullum, and my dream opening pair… Sachin Tendulkar and Sanath jayasuriya. How about Zaheer Khan and Lasith Malinga opening the bowling together?
How about the incredible Shane Warne, an Australian, supporting and showing confidence in an unknown left arm 18 year old Indian bowler kamran Khan and making his the main strike bowler of his team. How about MS Dhoni captaining Chennai team which includes the incredible Mathew Hayden and FLintoff.
The combinations and permutations of every team makes you watch with intense anticipation.
How about countrymen who stand shoulder to shoulder for their countries having to face each other? Irfan Pathan slamming his brother for a six, and Yusuf replying in kind with two boundaries off Irfan. Flintoff bowling to Kevin Peterson, Muralitharan bowling to Jayasuriya, Kumble bowling to Sachin. All awesomely anticipated encounters.
To top it all off the games just last for about 3 and a half hours. As good as watching a long Hindi movie.
Fantastic isn’t it.?
Actually folks I was planning to put down something else here, some sad thoughts , but strangely mind mind just refused to be drawn towards the sadness in my life. My mind wants just to think about the IPL. Seriously since the IPL began I haven’t had the time to think of all my life’s problems. The only things my brain focuses on right now is how will Mumbai fare against Kolkata, or when will jayasuriya and Sachin both fire together. My mind doesn’t want to go into my sadnees, my black hole at all.
Nice isn’t it.. That’s why I love the IPL….. Sadness banished….. happiness revisited. SO folks , as long as the IPL is on, depression is gone…….. IPL RULEZZZZZZZZ
(((I know I know, another disconnected blog entry ----- its my brain u see…. :D ))))
Destiny Vs Will Power – part 1
Destiny – Definition: Whatever happens is supposed to happen, and cannot happen in any other way.
Will Power – Definition: Whatever happens is the result of the decision and action you take with the choices life hands over to you.
Well the wise men would say that weak people would believe the first one and strong willed people would believe the second one. Its not always the case. Or if I could put it a little better, conceited people or people who feel themselves to be superior believe the second.
And then there are those sane ones who put in a dose of their Karma theory to propose the first and counter argue that your karma will finally decide the future.
Let me give this problem to my brain to feed on.
%$#@%$#@%$#@
Well the system seems to have hanged, overloaded I guess. My brain it seems was simultaneously contemplating the schedule for fireproofing works, the best way to out-think my new manager and the bikini shots of Neetu Chandra. So this present problem caused its system to hang.
Anyways…. If destiny is supposed to dominate life over our planet then the question arises that who wrote it. God obviously… but what for? What is the point of writing a play and making sure all the characters of the play behave as per your instructions, when you yourself are the one watching it? OR maybe the One- God theory is wrong and your fellow Gods are watching it. Then it could make some sense. You create the universe and create all kinds of planets and solar systems, galaxies for the entertainment of the fellow Gods. But who wants to watch discovery channel all the time right? Where is the action, the reaction, the ermmm… emotion, the drama, the suspense. I am sure the Gods would have got bored of watching the planets rotate all the time. And so u had to create us humans, the ultimate blockbuster channel. The human channel…. Awesome…….
Ooops…. Sorry.. got distracted from the topic as usual.
I am not at all bothered about the happenings in our universe, I am more interested in the WHY. Why does everything that exist.. exist at all. What’s the point?
Anyway… this question of mine is never ever going to be answered so… I will hopefully get back to the main topic. If I cannot then I will just get back to my work.
Hmmmm….
My brain seems to be more interested in Kate Perry in bikini…. Grrr…. Later folks…..
Will Power – Definition: Whatever happens is the result of the decision and action you take with the choices life hands over to you.
Well the wise men would say that weak people would believe the first one and strong willed people would believe the second one. Its not always the case. Or if I could put it a little better, conceited people or people who feel themselves to be superior believe the second.
And then there are those sane ones who put in a dose of their Karma theory to propose the first and counter argue that your karma will finally decide the future.
Let me give this problem to my brain to feed on.
%$#@%$#@%$#@
Well the system seems to have hanged, overloaded I guess. My brain it seems was simultaneously contemplating the schedule for fireproofing works, the best way to out-think my new manager and the bikini shots of Neetu Chandra. So this present problem caused its system to hang.
Anyways…. If destiny is supposed to dominate life over our planet then the question arises that who wrote it. God obviously… but what for? What is the point of writing a play and making sure all the characters of the play behave as per your instructions, when you yourself are the one watching it? OR maybe the One- God theory is wrong and your fellow Gods are watching it. Then it could make some sense. You create the universe and create all kinds of planets and solar systems, galaxies for the entertainment of the fellow Gods. But who wants to watch discovery channel all the time right? Where is the action, the reaction, the ermmm… emotion, the drama, the suspense. I am sure the Gods would have got bored of watching the planets rotate all the time. And so u had to create us humans, the ultimate blockbuster channel. The human channel…. Awesome…….
Ooops…. Sorry.. got distracted from the topic as usual.
I am not at all bothered about the happenings in our universe, I am more interested in the WHY. Why does everything that exist.. exist at all. What’s the point?
Anyway… this question of mine is never ever going to be answered so… I will hopefully get back to the main topic. If I cannot then I will just get back to my work.
Hmmmm….
My brain seems to be more interested in Kate Perry in bikini…. Grrr…. Later folks…..
Internet Friendships
Mr. A – Hi.
Miss B – Hi
Mr. A – a s l please.
Miss B – 23, female mumbai, you?
Mr.A – 24, male New Delhi.
And thus starts every conversation in a chat room. Where and how far the conversation leads depends upon the chatting abilities of the two.
I remember when internet had first come to my city in Udupi, Karnataka in the late 1990’s. It was like this new craze, this new pass time. All of us became very interested in the internet. All of us had the need, this desire to open new email accounts, send an email to a friend even if u saw him for 6 hours a day. Visit websites and learn about the world of the internet. I mean it was a craze. Many of the youngsters were crazy about the internet.
But guess which site became more popular? Yes yes the chat rooms. Guys, mostly guys would login to their respective accounts, go to rooms of their choosing and look for girls to chat with. Any user they found, whom they suspected to be girls, they went after. Now how many girls actually came online, no one would ever know. But guys would really be persistent.
And then there were those guys who never found any girls to chat with, and decided to vent their frustrations on all the other guys on the internet by posing as girls. They were those kinds who would derive immense pleasure in posing as girls and sending the boys on a wild goose chase. They would even suddenly have this brilliant idea of chatting wit a girl using a fictitious female user ID. Some lucky guys actually found to their delight that other girls really were very talkative once they found out that you are a girl, they would have a long chat with this girl and after a long conversation would have this feeling of introducing himself as a guy, only to find out that the girl he was talking to was also another guy.
May be this phenomenon still exists, I would never know because I stopped entering chat rooms a long time ago. Well, after a short time some people like yours truly do smarten up. I too would visit chat rooms, find people to chat with, have long conversations and later find out the person in front of you was bluffing. Somehow… how would you put it… real friends, those people around you, provided more meaning to life than the ones in the chat rooms. Very rarely you would find someone really nice, only to never see or hear from that person again. Or you would meet someone you liked before, whom u chatted with once and enjoyed and would be embarrassed to find out that the person didn’t remember you. Of course since that person would have chatted with hundreds of people in between.
So chat rooms I avoided. Any unknown person sending me a message would be ignored.
Then came social websites like facebook, orkut, yahoo 360. here you could actually see the person’s pictures, their profiles and other personal information the user put about herself/himself.
I liked yahoo 360 in the beginning. This was and still is a site wherein you could post your thoughts like a personal diary. I met lots of interesting people in here. People who had a gift for words, people who had lived interesting lives, It was very interesting. Many people would post some incident about their lives, even trivial ones and this would take you in a nostalgic journey to that page of your life that you had forgotten about.
But unfortunately there was a 4-5 month time lag in between where I couldn’t access the internet as much as I used to. When I logged back in to the site I found that many of the people there had also stopped updating their pages. I felt a little strange, like not knowing what had become of them.
This made me wonder again about internet friendships. Why would I look for friendships from unknown people on the internet.
Real life friendships I had learnt were not meant to be kept for a long time. As one of my close friends always says, promises are meant to be broken. I wonder if this thought applies to friendship too. At least on the internet. The same friend even talked about relationships having an expiry date.
I have lost count of how many people I became friendly with on the net who just upped and disappeared. Many of those friends whom I met after long time were just not enthusiastic enough to continue where we had left. This applied to me too, because I rarely remembered what subject we used to chat about.
Well. I think there are very few genuinely friendly people in the world. The kind who would … you know… keep friendship for long. In my real life I have just one friend whom I can say has been my old friend since we have been in contact since the day we met. But the others… come and go, some do reappear but its hard to be remain in contact.
I think we all look for some particular quality in the person we are chatting with. Some like to chat with funny people, some prefer to talk to naughty ones, most of them prefer raunchy ones. Most of us just need someone to talk to just to feel good I suppose.
You can always make friends through the internet, very few of them will remain with you for long. Some may actually become real, in front of ur face friends too. You will see life in various forms through them, some of them will make you even remember your childhood, some may need ur advice, some could give you advice. You will find all kinds of people with all kinds of life experiences.
If you are looking for permanent friendship then don’t keep your hopes up. But if u want to learn about people and their lives, internet is awesome.
((( sorry for the abrupt ending)))
Miss B – Hi
Mr. A – a s l please.
Miss B – 23, female mumbai, you?
Mr.A – 24, male New Delhi.
And thus starts every conversation in a chat room. Where and how far the conversation leads depends upon the chatting abilities of the two.
I remember when internet had first come to my city in Udupi, Karnataka in the late 1990’s. It was like this new craze, this new pass time. All of us became very interested in the internet. All of us had the need, this desire to open new email accounts, send an email to a friend even if u saw him for 6 hours a day. Visit websites and learn about the world of the internet. I mean it was a craze. Many of the youngsters were crazy about the internet.
But guess which site became more popular? Yes yes the chat rooms. Guys, mostly guys would login to their respective accounts, go to rooms of their choosing and look for girls to chat with. Any user they found, whom they suspected to be girls, they went after. Now how many girls actually came online, no one would ever know. But guys would really be persistent.
And then there were those guys who never found any girls to chat with, and decided to vent their frustrations on all the other guys on the internet by posing as girls. They were those kinds who would derive immense pleasure in posing as girls and sending the boys on a wild goose chase. They would even suddenly have this brilliant idea of chatting wit a girl using a fictitious female user ID. Some lucky guys actually found to their delight that other girls really were very talkative once they found out that you are a girl, they would have a long chat with this girl and after a long conversation would have this feeling of introducing himself as a guy, only to find out that the girl he was talking to was also another guy.
May be this phenomenon still exists, I would never know because I stopped entering chat rooms a long time ago. Well, after a short time some people like yours truly do smarten up. I too would visit chat rooms, find people to chat with, have long conversations and later find out the person in front of you was bluffing. Somehow… how would you put it… real friends, those people around you, provided more meaning to life than the ones in the chat rooms. Very rarely you would find someone really nice, only to never see or hear from that person again. Or you would meet someone you liked before, whom u chatted with once and enjoyed and would be embarrassed to find out that the person didn’t remember you. Of course since that person would have chatted with hundreds of people in between.
So chat rooms I avoided. Any unknown person sending me a message would be ignored.
Then came social websites like facebook, orkut, yahoo 360. here you could actually see the person’s pictures, their profiles and other personal information the user put about herself/himself.
I liked yahoo 360 in the beginning. This was and still is a site wherein you could post your thoughts like a personal diary. I met lots of interesting people in here. People who had a gift for words, people who had lived interesting lives, It was very interesting. Many people would post some incident about their lives, even trivial ones and this would take you in a nostalgic journey to that page of your life that you had forgotten about.
But unfortunately there was a 4-5 month time lag in between where I couldn’t access the internet as much as I used to. When I logged back in to the site I found that many of the people there had also stopped updating their pages. I felt a little strange, like not knowing what had become of them.
This made me wonder again about internet friendships. Why would I look for friendships from unknown people on the internet.
Real life friendships I had learnt were not meant to be kept for a long time. As one of my close friends always says, promises are meant to be broken. I wonder if this thought applies to friendship too. At least on the internet. The same friend even talked about relationships having an expiry date.
I have lost count of how many people I became friendly with on the net who just upped and disappeared. Many of those friends whom I met after long time were just not enthusiastic enough to continue where we had left. This applied to me too, because I rarely remembered what subject we used to chat about.
Well. I think there are very few genuinely friendly people in the world. The kind who would … you know… keep friendship for long. In my real life I have just one friend whom I can say has been my old friend since we have been in contact since the day we met. But the others… come and go, some do reappear but its hard to be remain in contact.
I think we all look for some particular quality in the person we are chatting with. Some like to chat with funny people, some prefer to talk to naughty ones, most of them prefer raunchy ones. Most of us just need someone to talk to just to feel good I suppose.
You can always make friends through the internet, very few of them will remain with you for long. Some may actually become real, in front of ur face friends too. You will see life in various forms through them, some of them will make you even remember your childhood, some may need ur advice, some could give you advice. You will find all kinds of people with all kinds of life experiences.
If you are looking for permanent friendship then don’t keep your hopes up. But if u want to learn about people and their lives, internet is awesome.
((( sorry for the abrupt ending)))
PAIN
There is something in you, that you are ashamed of, something in you that you try to hide, something in you that you totally despise.
You move through life, going through agony, going through pain. You know you have weaknesses, but you cant allow them to be seen. You have fear, you have phobias, but you try to bury them in a closet and hope it remains there.
All the while you move about life with a false smile on your face. You create humour as a defense against your pain. You move through life hoping time will ease your pain, you move through life hoping time will reduce your pain.
But the pain remains, it remains there in your closet, showing its ugly face just when you feel free from it. Just when you feel you are about to conquer it, it comes in swooping like a mammoth, Reminding you of its existence, reminding you of its control over you.
You can see it is there, you can see it is destroying you, but you turn a blind eye, hoping to see it disappear.
But you agony continues, crippling you killing you slowly, eroding your mighty brain and heart till you become totally helpless.The agony and pain relentless, beating you, holding you a prisoner within its powerful grasp until you feel totally helpless.
What do u do my friend? Do you give up? Do u let the pain control you? Do you accept defeat and live your life in pain?
What do u do my friend? What do you do?
----------------------------
You challenge it.
Yes that’s it my friend... you challenge it.... you accept the existence of your fear and your pain, but you challenge it.
You look in to the eyes of the monster and you challenge it. You may lose a few times, but there will be times that you will overcome it. The sense of accomplishment and the sense of happiness you get during those times will drive you ahead so that you don’t lose hope. You keep fighting the pain; you keep fighting your insecurities until they exist no more.
When you realize your weakness, your phobia, you realize that the only way to counter it is to attack it. Unless you do that, you will always be in pain. Do your best to counter it, every time it raises its ugly head try to squash it.
Once you realize that all the problems just lie in your head, you will be able to move forward. You will be able to relax again.
You are the master of your own mind and body; you are the one who lets yourself feel the pain. You are the one who lets yourself be beaten. The power to control the monster lies within you.
Do not lose hope my friend
You are not the only one out there, there are plenty of them out there, hiding their fears in their closets. But not everyone fights, in fact very few of them ever do.
This is your life my friend, do not let the monster dictate its terms to you. It’s your right to live your life as you wish to.
SO what are you waiting for? Look at your fear straight into its eyes look at it long and hard, and sound the battle horn. You are going to fight. Fight the monster until it is dead.
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